Thursday, August 20, 2009

Shopping with Five Kids is a Breeze

It's hot. It's sweltering. It's liquid heat. In nearly
eight years of living in Alexandria, I've never been
this uncomfortable. Well, there was that time that
Samiya told her cousin to stay off of her bed
because her mommy told her that her cousins have
"hair bugs" (lice) and she didn't want to get them.
THAT was fairly uncomfortable. But as discomfort
relates to the weather, this summer's heat is by far
the winner.
Yesterday I lost my mind. I announced to the
kids that they should all get dressed quickly, put
shoes on, comb hair and pee. Then we all went
downstairs and caught a cab to Manshiya's clothing
district. Whoa, Nelly! If you think Christmas shopping
on Black Friday is bad, you should try it here during
the August sales month 3 days before Ramadan starts
in the hot afternoon sun. Oh, and then do it with five
kids. If that doesn't land you in the local sanitarium,
then I don't know what will.
Actually, it wasn't that bad. Except for crossing
the busy streets on the way there and on the way home,
it was pretty uneventful. What made me lose it and take
all of them with me? I guess I wanted to get them out of
the house as well as get each one a new shirt for 'Eid
al-Fitr (the celebration ending the month long fast of
Ramadan.) It's easier and cheaper this way.
I managed to get out of there with only having spent
180 pounds. Woohoo. I talked Ismail out of ever asking
me to buy him leather pants again for the rest of his life.
(Barf.) And I also started the brainwashing mantra
therapy, where I whisper to him over and over "If you
want a leather jacket, then save your own money." I'm
so not buying a child a leather jacket.
I convinced Randa that shopping was fun and that
screaming and belching in stores is not. Aiman stopped
asking for the Nike shoes, red sleeveless polyester shirt
with a black zipper up the front and the word Laguna
Beach misspelled (Lagnua Beach) after hearing the word
"No" 422 times after each begging session. He and Ismail
tag-teamed me though when it came to the blue and gray
backpacks with a picture of a skeleton flipping the bird
with his bony finger. That time they heard it clear enough
the first time, "Not 'no', but 'Hell no!"
I didn't find anything respectable for Randa. (What's
the deal with these clothing companies trying to dress
our little girls like common whores? I don't want to
ever be able to associate adjectives like "sexy" or "hot"
with my 13 year old. The creep factor is just too high.)
So I got Samiya a beautiful yellow blouse and a yellow and
purple paisley scarf to match it. Each boy got a polo-style
shirt of a different color. I'll pick up something for Randa
this week. Each of us got a soda and drank it on the
trolley ride home. Most of our shopping was completed
and the kids got a couple of hours out of the house.
Mission accomplished....but it's still hot.


Anonymous said...

You are hillarious kiddo! Stand-up commics have nothing on you. could make a fortune and just think you could do it several languages. Nik I am dead serious...get with it on facebook.

I need the old mans phone #. I can't seem to get through and can't find his cell number. Please send pronto. (As in: Muy)

D & D left for a reunion in SA, TX this am and will return tomorrow night late. Write emai, facebook (preferably b/c cp email is on the blitz) or call soon.Lov,MoM

Anonymous said...

OK so I can't spell comic!! So what?? I can't spell email either.

And I can't even remember my own account name so I use the anonymous know who I am...the one who can't spill spell

Monika said...

Sorry. The "Anonymous" spelling-genius above is drunk. She's staying with me and you know how I like to share our love of wine.