About Kids and Cleaning House...

Cleaning up after your family is tough. It's tougher when you've got kids....especially
the busload that I have (and I thank God for them.) But when you've allowed yourself to become the cook, maid, shopper, bather, errand runner, computer help desk technician, telephone guru, laundry washer/hanger/folderupper and putter awayer,
homework helper, finder of all things lost, human alarm clock, doorman, medicine dispenser, dragger of ill to the doctor/dentist, child drop off/pick up pointman, sex slave and coffee/tea maker..............(shew) you kinda get a case of the ass when you see your 13-yr old drink his third cup of water from a different cup and drop it into the soapy water and walk away.
So, I'm following through with my threat the other day. One of 'em screws up, that's the one that's gonna get stuck cleaning that nasty ole bathroom! The next one that screws up gets to make all the beds in the house. Samiya and Aiman didn't want to study tonight after being told to 47 times...so I made them fold up the two loads of clothes on the couch. I'm LIKING this.
I can get dishes done, rugs vacuumed, walls scrubbed and shoes put away, trash emptied and potatoes peeled and hell, I could just make the new curtains I've been putting off or work out or blog. Yeah......I'm down with this idea.
As often as Ismail and Mohamed fight per day, I should be able to get bedroom closets organized by the end of the week!
Right on for free child labor..........errrrr........constructive punitive ideas.

If I Were Queen for a Day

I have always had a short fuse. With age, marriage and five kids I've managed to
stretch that fuse time and time again. The result of this practice is that most people
think that I have the patience of Job. NOTHING could be further from the truth.
I do TRY to have patience but I'm not really very good at it. I AM very good at holding
my temper at bay. THAT, my friends, requires self-control and not patience.

Today my "hit list" would be quite long if I were Queen for the Day. And when I say
"hit list" I MEAN hit list. I've always believed that it is a GOOD thing that I do not
have any control of who lives and who dies in this world. Today I decided that it is
also a good thing that I don't decide HOW. Had I been Queen for the Day today, the
guy who runs our Internet Service Provider office would have been slapped with wet
hands across the face for about 3 hours and then catapulted into space directly onto whatever satellite our DSL is coming from in order that he fix it manually once he figures out how to get out of the straight jacket he'd be wearing. (How he'd get home
would fall fittingly into the category of "NOT my problem"...which apparently is
the category of internet access complaints when customers call him.)

Also, the boy who delivers groceries fromthelocal market would have made the list
tonight. I've always considered him an oxygen thief since the first time I bought a
kilogram of flour and 3 eggs and this little brain-donor recipient hopeful just tossed
all 3 eggs right into the bag of flour...chicken poop and all. I handed the bag to the
store owner and asked for a new order to be filled and suggested this boy's mother
could deal with the now poopy flour. He's put my cheese in the same bag with the
bottle of bleach and thrown a can of corned beef on top of the fresh bread. Here in
Egypt we have our own little way of preventing strangers from coming up to our apartments. We call for a delivery and then lower a basket down with a rope. I told
the owner when I called for the order that I'd need change. He sent it. But instead
of putting it into the bag with the order, he threw it loosely into the basket on top of
the bags of stuff. When my son pulled the basket up to the window the money blew
out of the basket into the dark street. It took about 30 minutes and most of the charge
of my cellphone being used as a flashlight for the boys to find that 6.50 pounds.
(That's enough to buy breakfast tomorrow morning!) Anyway, this genius definitely
made the list tonight.

Now, I'd never put my children on my "hit list" for death. However, the 3 boys have
earned permanent positions on the "stepping on my last nerve" list. Aiman is now up to 4 days of being grounded from computer games and Hamo has lost 2 days. Samiya learned her lesson last night and only has one more computer-less day. Ismail smelled hours of endless play about the time the other 3 kids lost their first days and he went straight to sleep. Smart kid. I'm thinking of making them clean the bathroom tomorrow, too. Each one responsible for one specific porcelain item to clean. Aiman
is SO looking at toilet duty. He's the ring leader in the bedtime olympic games. Grrrr.

I may not ever get to be Queen for the Day over all the universe....but with these kids,
I'm Queen every day. I guess it's a pretty good position to have.