Thursday, July 2, 2009

There's a Reason I'm Not a Seafood Chef

So, I decided to make fish today and before I left (LATE) to the open market
Ismail yelled out behind me: "I want SQUID for dinner!" So Aiman and I
booked down to the SOUK (pronounced soook means Market in Arabic) and
stopped to buy him some grape gum with the squirty insides from a candy
man next to the guy who sells eggs and homemade farmer's cheese. I got to
the fish lady, Um Karima, but she said the sardines went fast today and I
should get up earlier. (Yeah, Rup Rours, Reorge! as Astro would say!)
Anyway, I got a kilo of squid and passed on everything else. No one has any
good fish after 3pm So I decided to make green bean stew with filet of beef

Still, what to do with this damn squid??! So I got out my B.A.S.F.C.B. (Big Ass
Seafood CookBook) that my sister, Denise, sent me for my birthday twelve
years late (NOPE! Swear to God she signed the inside cover and mistakenly
dated it before she put it aside and forgot to mail it for 12 years until she
cleaned out a closet or something.) So I quickly read the part about "How
to Clean a Squid." Sounded easy enough. SHUH-HUH! They neglected to
say that Squid-skin is really thick and clings to the meat tighter than a G.I.Joe
kung fu death grip! Also, I figured out why they tell you to cut the tentacles
off below the eyes. Because if you don't pay attention and cut in the wrong
place the little eyeballs kind of explode and you get this nasty black ooze
all over your clothes, the counter, and the clean dishes you just paid the
8-yr old to wash for you because your legs are tired from showing your
muscle-head husband that you CAN lift weights even though you're over-
weight and over forty! So I cleaned up that mess, threw away about half
of the tentacles due to impatience being my middle name and squeezed
lemons over the remaining 3/4 kilo of cleaned and cut squid, tossed it in
a bag and threw it in the freezer. We'll have it tomorrow, God willing, if I
can "get up earlier" and get to the fish market before noon. If not, cheese
sandwiches and watermelon may just have to do nicely.


Monika said...

Okay, see, I LIKE squid and I am so ooged out by the eyeball thing that I may not be able to eat it again for a while. I don't cook it though....and I let the sushi restaurant prep it and serve it. Lazy? Maybe. But then again, I don't have eyeball ooze on my clothes. I think I just threw up in my mouth a llittle.

nikkimohamed said...

Any other favors I can do you for?
I'm FULL of piss and vinegar today.
And if there's some kind of food preparation story I can tell you to ooge you out about ANY kind of your food and I'll oblige. I'm not new to this motherhood/food prep game. Can't stump sirree!