Friday, October 31, 2008

Bi-Partisan Special on "Dancing with the Stars"

Okay, so NOT REALLY but you HAVE to admit that this
photo is an absolute scream! Couple this image with Alec
Baldwin's reference to the Republican candidates as the
"Mc Bush-Bible Spice" ticket while he was on Letterman
the other night and we have a winner in the FUNNY dept.
****Note to all my right-winger relatives: I WILL delete
any nasty comments about my political views, to which I
believe I'm entitled whether I'm a liberal or not!****
So, Monika and Shauna will both be relieved that I'm an
Obama supporter. My mom, dad, Denise, probably ALL
aunts on both sides of the family and ALL cousins at least
from the maternal side will don their black armbands and perhaps burn me AND Barack in effigy.
And that's okay, too. I'm okay with that. I was sooooooo
not thrilled with the Bush (the elder) /Clinton choice that I
voted for Ross Perot and I think my mom blamed me person ally for splitting the Republican vote. Oh, well.
My uncle Sid said that he would consider ME for president as a write-in candidate. I thanked him
for his support but told him that I'd have to respectfully decline the position. For several reasons
I would NOT be elected president.
1. Unlike Barack Obama, I actually AM a Muslim. So due to our lovely press in the US, they'd translate this to mean that I am a terrorist and would SOMEHOW find some sort of link between
my career as a SAHM and Al-Qaeda.
2. I could not be elected as president as I have a tendency to NOT spend money that I don't have. I don't really like buying on credit. It's just too easy to dig yourself a hole that you cannot
climb out of. (Just ask any of those million people who've had their homes foreclosed upon in the last year..."Pardon me, Ed McMahon.....if you had to do it all over again, would you have PAID for your house in cash or perhaps lived WITHIN your means?") I once lost a house to foreclosure
years before anyone knew this fiasco was happening.......could no longer afford the house, tried to sell but the market was saturated with old homes for sale and new homes kept getting built faster and bigger and more bionic? that it was a buyers market and all along the banks were approving more and more loans that they know people can't pay back. (And that was during Clinton's Administration!)
Been there, done that, don't want the t-shirt. I would as president provide tax incentives to first-time home buyers who PAY CASH for
their homes.
3. Another reason I'd probably never be elected as president is because I would boot all of the MEN off of the ways and means committees and any committee having to do with budget balancing. ONLY women congresspersons (or at least a majority of them would be women) who
have shown proof that they can balance their own checkbooks for at least one year, use coupons wisely to save on groceries in their own home (not just use coupons but actually use coupons for stuff they'd NORMALLY buy) and demonstrate that they can effectively renegotiate a loan via
telephone in front of ME. Anyone who leaves these tasks up to an accountant would immediately be removed from any budgetary policy decision-making jobs and be required to take a remedial
math course at the local community college of his/her choice at his/her OWN expense!
4. My foreign policies would walk hand-in-hand with my domestic policies. All funds currently being shipped overseas as "foreign aid" that are NOT actually for humanitarian efforts (we'll address those later) would be cut off immediately. This means that all this B.S. money that we've been shelling out for decades to countries like Israel, Egypt, Jordan, and more in an effort to get them to "play nice" with one another would be immediately redirected to build new homeless shelters in each state with at least 3 more dedicated to the District of Columbia. (I am AIPAC's
worst nightmare!)
Each shelter would be staffed with 1 full-time medical doctor and 1 full-time psychiatrist. (These positions would be MANDATORY 90-day rotations for 3rd year residents at all teaching hospitals.) Each shelter would have 1 full-time lawyer dedicated to helping the homeless with any
legal issues they may encounter, such as social security benefits, divorce, bankruptcy, military benefits, etc. The lawyers would also be doing 90-day rotations out of the larger law firms around the cities and work would be billed at the firm as pro bono.
The 1.7 million spent daily on wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, after I pull our military out of
both countries and allow these countries to get their own STUFF together, would be used to im-
prove the daily lives of our military that they so desperately need AND deserve. Their pay would be increased to put them at least above the poverty level so that the military wives do not have to spend hours on line to collect the food stamps that help them and their families to make it through the month to their next meager pay day! Yes, it's true. Those people defending your
country and fighting our (and others') wars aren't even making enough money per month to feed
their kids a lot of the time. It's amazing what most civilians don't know about military life!
There are a ton of foreign/domestic policies that I'd create, change or CAN altogether.
The Ann Coulters of the world are not ready for me. My dad and all of his FOX NEWS viewing companions would SOOOOOOOOO vote against me. Oh, yeah.
And these are just SOME of the reasons I'd never be elected and so I forego the waste of
time of campaigning! Go Barack.


Monika said...

Love the Bi-Partisan dancing with the stars photo.

Here's one more reason you can't run for president: You don't have enough hush money for your little sister.


Okay, kidding. I kind of like the comments I heard recently about the reality of voting for someone who is too much of an "average Joe or Jane". I wouldn't vote for me for President. I know that I forget the dry cleaning, miss a dental appointment because it slips my mind, and occasionally have to take money out of savings to cover checks I wrote that would have been bouncing down the road. I don't want an average Joe or Jane for President. I want someone super-awesome-who-has-a-mind-like-a-steel-trap-and-who-is-healthy-and-very-very-intelligent-and-well-spoken-and-a-good-negotiator-and-well-versed-in-foreign-politics-who-maybe-even-(gasp)-speaks-a-foreign-language. Of course, he/she is not running. Doh! Maybe in 4 years?

Orion's Nana Colleen said...

Nikki, you make too much sence to be able to run for president!!!
Congress couldn't take you (on)!
But I would still be your number one supporter. Should I send in your resume to our fabulous president-elect, he's looking for a few good people right now!
Nikki for President!!!
Nikki for President!!!

From her #1 supporter, FAC