I Quit

I quit. I resign. I'm outta here.

That is correctamundo, Fonzie. I have had just about enough of this.
I don't want to be mother, wife or any other friggin' thing anymore.
I just wanna go back to being a selfish, working slob who pays her rent
and car note and works the fulltime job for pension/insurance reasons
and a parttime job in the evening a few days a week for spending money
and play softball and go to movies and buy new shoes when I flipping
feel like it. No more being stuck 24/7 in the house helping ungrateful
brats with homework, sewing buttons on shirts, vacuuming the rugs just
so that they can walk around the house behind me eating breadsticks and
talking with their mouths open leaving no evidence of any housework to
be found. No more slaving over the hot stove making a completely delicious
and nutritious balanced meals just to have an 8 year old wearing a plastic
SCREAM mask announce to me, "I don't like carrots or zucchini and I also
won't eat noodles anymore! Make me a cheese and tomato sandwich."
Or to have the autistic 12 yr old scream, "THAT's DISGUSTING!"
No more dealing with helpful husband who brings home a complete weight
bench to our 3 bedroom, 1 bath APARTMENT with already too much CRAP
in it, including a broken washing machine in the corner of the dining room
that usually houses the two HUGE captains chairs that don't fit in the living
room and the extra coffee table whereas the dining room table is crammed
into the boys' bedroom with the only in-tact chair left after they wiggled,
wobbled and leaned on the other 5 until they smashed into toothpicks........
where was I? Oh, right...the "helpful husband".....then puts together said
weight bench, shows the 5 kids ages 8-13 how to use it and then says to me
while pulling on his jacket and running out the door to visit his sister across
town, "Keep the kids off of this thing, will you? It's dangerous for them to use
it on their own." Ya think?????????????!
Do I LOOK like I have nothing better to do? I mean, YES, I could benefit from
using a weight bench and I could get into shape and lose this extra 50 lbs I've
been lugging around off and on for the last 10 years. BUT...couldn't we look
at maybe getting a bigger house first? Or putting up a couple of the kids for
adoption??? WHY get it now? You KNOW they'll only break the damn thing
before I get to use it once. *sigh*
I need a job where I'm appreciated and this one just ain't it. At least not here
on Earth. Of course, it's not here where I truly want to be appreciated is it?
In the Quran, Heaven lays at the feet of the mothers. I guess God appreciates
how difficult our job really is....so maybe I'll stick it out afterall. I don't really
need to have a new dress every month or to get my nails done or to actually get
a vacation far away from the in-laws. I'll be rewarded one day...if not by my
kids here then definitely by God on Judgement Day. I pray He's merciful to me.