I Swear He Did It to Himself! and Other Truths CPS Won't Believe

How soon is too soon to explain what a hickey is to your kids?
I'm guessing 8 is a little young, right? I used the term "painless
bruise" instead. I'm hoping that's acceptable for a while. What
am I talking about? Well, I'll tell you.
Last night just after dinner, Ismail came into the kitchen and
told me that I NEED to come look at Aiman's chin. Since I was
up to my armpits in dirty dishes and an argument with Hamo, I
opted to ask for a verbal description instead. He said, "It's got
a big red thing on it." HUH? What big red thing?
I blew it off as leftover meatsauce from pasta. Aiman has been
known to actually lick his dish clean if it's something he likes.
Oddly enough, it didn't really register with me that he doesn't
actually LIKE pasta or meatsauce. He only tolerates it because
I use green peppers in the sauce and to him this means "Fart
Power!"
So about an hour later Ismail came back to me and said, "Mom,
the red thing on Aiman's chin is getting WORSE!" So, I called
him into the kitchen, thinking it was just a red grease stain. He
walked in, looked up at me and said, "Ma'am?" and HOLY
SUCTION CUPS, BATMAN! He had this gigantic hickey covering
his ENTIRE chin.
I had to rule out bruising first, as a precaution. So I asked if Hamo
had pinched his face (he's known for this.) Aiman looked embar-
rassed and said, "No. I did it with my cup by sucking it up with my
mouth for a really long long time."
Once we determined that it didn't hurt and it was a "painless bruise"
(Hickey), I just put a little Hemoclar ointment on it (for hematomas)
and sent him on his way with a warning not to do it again.
*Sigh. I don't really beat my kids. It just looks like I do.